The Lovely Lives of the Hilarious Hunters
by SparkleLiekYeah
Summary: Three hunters born into the life, Bella, Dean and Sam are tied together by their destinies. But when Bella retires in favor of good ol' Forks, the boys bring her back to their world where she truly belongs, and where her heart truly lies. Rated T for cussing and etc.
1. Chapter 1

"Where the hell is he?" she grumbled in frustration, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Dean to come back from wherever he had been and get this show back on the road.

Bella Swan was anything but patient. She was not new to the life, she was even born into it, but that didn't help her ADHD-like impatience and fidgeting. She could only focus and turn that off when her mind was focused on a hunt.

No one knew why she was always jittery. Why she moved with constant caution, like every room she stepped in was filled with booby traps. In her short time in Forks trying to escape her life, it didn't leave. It even attracted a coven of vampires and a pack of temperamental shifters.

She wanted to be normal for a change. But Bella Swan could never be normal. When her mother, (her real one, mind you. Not Renee.) died in a house fire, it was like she was cursed with imperviousness. Demon glamour couldn't work on her, or certain mind-reading attempts. She just bounced them back. A shield, Dean liked to say. The nightmares she got weren't so pretty either.

Speaking of Dean, if he wasn't here by the count of five, Bella was scratching the Impala's paint job with her nails.

As if reading her mind, Dean skidded past a corner and practically dive-bombed into the Impala. "GET IN!" he roared. She slipped in the passenger seat easily and closed the door with a tiny thud.

"What the hell, Dean?" she blurted, glancing backward where apparently angry townspeople were attempting to chase them out. "What the fuck did _you do_?"

"They're all possessed!" he huffed. "Insane little freaks, trying to claw my eyes out 'cause I was gonna buy some pie!" Grumbling, he turned an expert left and steered into the highway, effectively escaping the wrath of the townspeople.

"Possessed by what?" Bella asked. "I don't know. Couldn't get a clear look while I was running for my life, actually," he replied with a bite of attitude. "Sheesh, Dean, what crawled up in your ass and gave birth?" Bella snapped, irritated with Dean's attitude. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was when I was running for my life when I tried to buy _pie._ Have you ever had the feeling of having to part with your beloved pie because batshit-crazy people chase you out of their town?" he asked angrily.

Ah, so it was the pie. He was still bitter.

"Don't bitch, Dean. There'll be more pie," Bella said soothingly, patting the aggrieved driver's back comfortingly. He perked up. "Will you make some?" he asked hopefully, glancing at her momentarily, eyes shining.

"Sure, why not. Get us a room with a kitchen, 'kay?" Bella gave in. Dean whooped. "You sure bet your ass I will!" With that all done, he was about to blast his music, but Bella stopped him. "Don't," she admonished. "Sam's sleeping, turn it down low."

With a martyred sigh, Dean rolled the volume down.

"Where we going next, Dean?" Bella asked, breaking the silence between the two. "Vampire hunting in Washington," he said immediately and clamped his mouth shut. "Shit, sorry Bells."

"It's fine. What kind of vampires?" she asked, business-like as she reclined the seat a little bit, preparing for a nap. "Cold ones," he said hesitantly. "Perfect. I've got just the song for this." Bella grinned, sitting up again.

The drums filled the car at a low volume. It took a moment for Dean to remember the song. It was rock, but a little new for him. "Huh," he said in amusement as he realized the song's title. "Real perfect, Bells," he grinned, glancing at her to see that she was fast asleep, a lock of her chocolate brown hair covering her ivory face tinted with pink.

He just turned his attention back to the road, smiling. The song continued on, keeping Dean some company for the drive ahead.

_Gimme gimme some of that vampire money come on!_

* * *

"Bells, Sam, wakey wakey!" With that proclamation, he promptly turned his music full blast. Which miraculously, was still Vampire Money by My Chemical Romance. Unfortunately for Bella and Sam, it was the screaming part.

"AAAAAHHH!" Bella shot up, propelling her out the seat, and crashing into the dashboard. Sam sat up so fast he clonked his head on the roof. Dean was chortling on the driver's seat as he parked in front of a familiar house. "Dean!" Bella exclaimed."Really? Thanks!"She clambered out and ran to the door, knocking energetically.

Sam glanced at him. Dean merely shrugged. "A room with a kitchen costs more, you know? And she promised she'd make pie."

The front door opened, with Chief Charlie Swan glancing out cautiously. His eyes bugged out comically before pointing a knife at Bella. She rolled her sleeve up without a word, simply grinning, and he slashed at her.

"Ow! Not so deep Dad, " she complained. Blood gushed out of the gaping wound and Charlie pulled his daughter in for a hug. "Sorry, I had to make sure. Where's Dean and Sam?" he queried, leading her in.

"Hey Charlie," the two brothers said simultaneously as they stopped on the porch. "Hey boys," he replied as he closed the door and got the first aid kit from a table nearby.

The trio settled themselves comfortably in the seat, as Charlie treats Bella's wound. "You here for the vamps?" Charlie asked casually. Dean nodded. "Could you fill us in, Charlie? On what's happening here," Sam asked, opening his laptop.

"Well, there's been the deaths. The mutilations. Bodies drained of blood stacked in a cabin in the woods and the cabin burns down. It's been a shitty month with all the paperwork," Charlie grumbles.

"The bite marks?" Bella piped up.

"Couldn't find them. Flesh is torn, and some are burned beyond recognition," Charlie clarified. Bella, Dean and Sam glanced at each other.

"I think I know what this is," Bella managed to say, past the sudden lump in her throat. "And you won't like it, boys."

Dean shook his head vehemently. "Dammitall!" he cursed complainingly.

Sam's mouth quirked in a thin line. "You should tell Charlie, Bella," he said softly, concentrating on his laptop.

"Tell me what, Bells?" Charlie asked suspiciously. Bella took a deep breath and gripped Dean's hand tightly.

"Dad, a cold one's been hunting me," Bella admitted roughly.

"What?" he roared. "Is it that Edmund freak? I swear I'll hunt him down myself and burn him in front of his 'family', Carlisle be damned!" he said angrily. Already he was stalking towards the china cabinet which had a fake back, and had the Swan family's arsenal.

"No no no, Dad. It's not him," Bella tried to pacify him. "Then who? I'll help!" Charlie thundered. "No one hurts my daughter and lives!"

"Victoria," she whispered. Charlie froze. "The redhead?" he asked, deathly quiet. "Yeah," Dean replied, when he saw Bella couldn't say anymore.

"She's a resident here…. She has yellow eyes! How….?" Charlie trailed off. Bella shot up faster than humanly possible. "What?" she yelled. "Dad, you let a cold one reside here?"

Charlie nodded, in shock. "Yeah."

* * *

My first Supernatural/ Twilight story! Please read and review, it means a lot :3


	2. Chapter 2

"What in hell would possess you to do that?" Bella glared, fists on hips, she stood up aggressively, only to be pulled back down to the sofa by Dean. "Aww, don't bitch yet, Bells," Dean complained. "Yeah, Charlie must have some acceptable reason to let the redhead live," Sam soothed.

"Like him not knowing her hunting me?" she seethed. Dean considered that a moment.

"I didn't know!" Charlie raised his hands defensively. "Of course you don't," Bella rolled her eyes impatiently. "I didn't tell you 'cause you'd flip out."

"You're flipping out right now," Sam pointed out. "Shut it Winchester," Bella threw back at him.

Sam shrunk back slightly, cowering in his seat on the couch. Only Bella had the power and authority to scare the Winchester boys. Only Bella.

"Anyway, if it's not her, then who could it be?" Bella wondered. "I know Victoria. Got that really high, girly voice. Wouldn't feed on a human," Charlie piped up. "At least anymore," he amended at the trio's sharp glance.

"No wonder she stopped tracking us," Bella sighed. "Yeah, you probably scared her off," Dean grinned. Bella grinned back. She could be a little terror if she wanted.

"Who could this be?" Charlie mused. "I've got my hands full at the station because of these damned murders, and the pack at La Push's swelling so fast I don't even know half of them anymore," he snorted.

"Pack?" Sam asked in surprise, his jaw popping open slightly. Bella and Charlie nodded. "Yep, shape shifters. They shift when there's a cold one around," Bella said absentmindedly, twirling a brown lock around one slim finger.

Dean whistled lowly. "You, Bella, redefine the meaning of 'danger magnet'. It's a supernatural hicktown, and you're not even around!" he hooted. "Don't call Forks a hicktown, boy, or I'll throw you in a cell overnight," Charlie warned, but he grinned.

"You want beers?" Charlie grunted, heaving himself up. "Yes," the three of them of piped up. "Not for you Bella. I may have accepted what you do now, but that don't mean I love it. Coke for you," Charlie admonished.

Dean and Sam snorted. "At least he doesn't see you in hunts," Sam muttered to Bella. "It's terrifyingly wicked."

Dean shook his head. "Terrifyingly hot, you mean," and with a wolfy grin, he pounced on Bella, eyebrows twitching madly.

She shrieked and laughed, pushing Dean's tickling hands away from her, just as the front door burst open and 4 blurs of white speeded in.

"Bella!" one of them cried.

Bella's head whipped around so fast Dean got a mouthful of soft brown and conditioned locks.

_"No,"_ she hissed.

* * *

Four vampires stood in his living room, his daughter was spitting fire, and her two companions stood around her protectively, and Charlie seriously contemplated his position in life at that moment.

"Step away from her," Edward growled menacingly, sinking into a crouch and exposing sharp teeth.

"How about you step away you filthy bloodsucker," Dean spat angrily as Sam narrowed his eyes at the vampires and muttered, "Goddamn vampires." Bella stayed silent, sandwiched between the brothers, quiet as her eyes spewed hazel fire.

"Bella, get away from the bad men quick!" Alice cried, spreading her arms, clearly expecting Bella to jump into her embrace.

Bella scoffed. "How about..." she pretended to consider. "No," she grinned sarcastically.

She turned to the brothers. "Bad men, huh? They do look like hobos," she grinned wider. Dean and Sam let out annoyed huffs. "We couldn't give one shit," Dean mumbled under his breath.

"Love, don't complicate the situation!" Edward ordered. "Stay put, and we'll save you."

Bella burst into laughter, turning to hide her face into Sam's plaid chest.

"Oh that was golden!" she laughed, tears leaking out of her eyes. "Save me! A bunch of vamps! God, I haven't laughed this much since Florida!"

Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Alice narrowed their gold eyes. "This isn't a laughing matter," Emmett grumbled, low and deep in his chest.

"It is!" she howled. "It's fucking hilarious!"

The vampires recoiled at the swear. Charlie tutted. "Bells, language," he reprimanded.

"Sorry Dad," she grinned.

He rolled his eyes.

The Cullens looked shocked. "Charlie, what's going on?" Jasper cocked his head to the side, trying to simultaneously to lure Bella to their side and calming the incensed men surrounding her down.

"Intruders in my damn house, that's what," Charlie grumbled. "Wait! They might know!" Bella cried, jumping up, restrained by Dean.

"Know what, love? And stop touching her like that you bastard!" Edward hissed. "The vampires rampaging around Forks," she panted, squirming between the two brothers. "No," Dean said with a tone of finality. "Not letting you near them," Sam glared at the vampires.

"The Volturi's little newborns," Alice spat. "An army, trying to force our coven out of Forks, and into joining their guard."

"Making our lives miserable until we agree," Emmett rumbled, angry and annoyed.

Bella sighed. "False alarm then. We can go back now."

Dean and Sam fractionally relaxed.

Edward took the opportunity to run at vampire speed and snatch Bella from between the two with a victorious, "Ha!"

Bella started screaming. "No! Put me down! GODDAMNED VAMPIRE, I SAID PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!" She slammed her fists ineffectually at his back, and in his surprise, Edward loosened his grip.

She let out an angry cry. "Get me out of here!" she demanded of the brothers, wiggling around. Edward nodded at his siblings, and sped out of the house, four blurs of white and flying chestnut curls.

"GODDAMN IT!" they could hear her irritated howl in the distance. Dean cussed. "Sammy! We have to go, now!"

"Yeah, we gotta save your girlfriend!" Sam piped up.

"Shut your mouth!" Dean hissed.

"HEY WINCHESTER DID YOUR BROTHER JUST SAY GIRLFRIEND? DEAN IF YOU'RE SCREWING WITH HER I'LL-" Charlie shouted, grabbing Dean by the collar and shaking him around, taking great satisfaction in the action.

"We're not a fucking couple!" Dean said defensively.

"You better not be," Charlie snarled. "I'll send you to Hell myself!"

"We have to save your daughter, Charlie!" Sam interrupted. "Shake Dean around later!"

"Don't worry about her, boys. The Cullens love her too much to hurt her," Charlie appeased both harried men. "They better or I'll rip 'em apart," Dean growled.

"But still," Sam fretted. "I have a bad feeling about this."


	3. Chapter 3

"Let me go!" Bella howled angrily. Edward merely chuckled. "I'm sorry, love, but no. Not until those strange men leave town."

"Strange?" Bella screamed. "You're the strange one here, vamp!" Edward put her down on her feet, and she wobbled a bit, blinking rapidly. She shook her head and huffed, straightening out her plaid top and brushing imaginary dirt off her leggings.

"Thank God," she said woozily, taking a deep, calming breath. "Now love, care to tell me what's going on?" Edward breathed, slinking closer to Bella and draping an arm around her.

Bella frowned and shook his arm off. "Don't touch me please," she said coolly, turning back and strolling swiftly away from the confused and agitated vampire.

"Bella, Bella! What's wrong?" Edward blurred to a stop in front of her, and she flinched, turning away from his burning, golden eyes quicker than he thought possible. She stopped in her tracks and concentrated on everywhere but the vampire in front of her.

He looked hurt. She internally smirked. _Sucks to be you, Cullen. You ditched me, it's my turn to ditch you. _

"What's wrong?" she asked incredulously. "It's been almost a year, Edward. I come back to Forks because I've heard there were vampire attacks and I was worried for Charlie's sake, but here you are!" she gestured to him in disgust. "Acting like you never left me in the goddamned woods a few days after my goddamned birthday!" she flared.

She had never enjoyed the taken aback look on his face more.

"Bella, I..." Edward trailed off. "No!" she snapped. "I'm not listening. I won't listen to you ever again. I can't believe I thought I loved you!" she rolled her eyes.

"Can't we talk this out?" he pleaded. She snorted. "The way we talked over you and your coven leaving? The way we talked over on how to handle James, _together? _Fuck, Edward, I'm not made of fucking glass! I can handle the supernatural shit just as much as you," she sneered.

"No you can't," he protested. "You're human, you can't handle it."

She laughed. "What do you think I've been doing the past months?" she mockingly asked. "Weeping for you? Ha! I've been hunting the things that go bump in the night, Eddie," she purred and watched the vampire freeze.

"No," he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered back, and enjoyed the fear and pain run through the vampire's face.

"I don't believe you," he said half-defiantly.

"You really should," she shot him a pitying smile. "It just might help you if I ever get the itch to hunt you down," she grinned, exposing her white, even teeth. Dean would strangle her for the little slip, but she would do anything to make Edward lose his composure.

"You've gotten better at lying," he murmured, glancing at her uncertainly.

"I have," she agreed amicably. "But not about this. I can't deny my heritage."

"What heritage?" he burst out. "Your father is the chief of police! He would never allow such dalliances!"

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh really?" she asked, half-laughing. "Where do you think I've been, then? With Renee and Phil? Please." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Where then?" he challenged.

"Around the country," she shrugged nonchalantly. "Hunting monsters and demons and ghosts," she smiled wickedly.

"I don't believe you," he sighed, rubbing his temples.

She smiled innocently. "Your call."

"Edward!" they both heard Emmett call. "I thought you were supposed to bring Bella back to the house."

"Change of plans," he gritted out. Emmett and Jasper bounded over to his side. "Problems?" Jasper murmured.

"Bella refuses to come," Edward replied stiffly. "Easy," Emmett grinned, as he picked Bella up and threw her over his shoulder.

"No!" she screeched. "Damn it, Emmett! I don't want to come with you bloodsuckers!"

Emmett didn't say anything. He only ran towards the immaculate house in the middle of the woods.

Bella felt sick. She was being passed around like a fucking rag doll, for Pete's sake! She wanted to be back in Charlie's living room, joking and talking with the boys. The world spun, and her vision blurred. It usually took a lot more than a handful of vampires to knock her out, but today was an exception.


	4. Chapter 4

With Bella knocked out cold, Edward silently slipped her limp body from Emmett's huge shoulder, and carried her bridal style to the Cullen house.

When he arrived at the house, he carefully lay her limp, but very alive body on the sofa, feeling the blood pound through every bit of skin he touched and he almost felt dizzy. Her scent was intoxicating,as usual.

Everyone crowded around the sofa, surveying the girl who they had not seen for almost a year. Alice hissed in disapproval of Bella's wardrobe choice: an unbuttoned plaid polo and a black racer back tank top, with shredded jeans and combat boots. "What is she wearing?" Esme murmured in dismay.

Her chestnut locks tangled all around her face, longer, as if she never had a haircut since they left. Edward stretched out an unsure hand, half-longing for the touch of her skin against his one more time, for the sparks that reignited his cold heart.

She shifted slightly, arching away from his touch, and he couldn't help the distressed sound that escaped his lips. Carlisle murmured an "Oh!"in surprise as Bella's tank top rode up slightly, exposing criss-crossing scars, layered on top of each other, faint. "Oh god," Rosalie breathed, clutching at Emmett's arm.

She moaned slightly in her unconscious state. "No," she muttered. "I... won't... let... you..."

The Cullens exchanged curious, and concerned glances.

* * *

Dean and Sam trudged out of the house, equipped with a few things they might need for the inevitable throwdown with the Cullens. They shared a secret glance, and rolled their eyes.

"Let's go save Bella," Dean grumbled, slipping into the driver's seat of the Impala. Sam slipped in quietly in the passenger seat, unfolding a piece of paper, squinting at the rushed words and shitty illustrations.

"Their house is in the middle of the fucking forest," Sam muttered. "Not even camouflaged. That's really stupid," Dean tsked.

"I know."

_"Just don't piss 'em off," Charlie had warned them. "They'll get real territorial and won't let you an inch near Bella."_

_Dean snorted. "I'd like to see them try to take her away from us."_

_"Don't worry Charlie, we'll bring her home in time for dinner," Sam assured the older man glaring at the two of them, so much like Bella._

_"You better," Charlie nodded gravely, shaking a finger at the two._

_"She's making pie later!" Dean called out as they swiftly walked out the hallway and out of the house. _

Lost in their respective thoughts, the brothers drove in relative silence.

_"Be goddamn quiet, okay?" Charlie mumbled as he concentrated on the piece of paper, scribbling furiously. His scrawl was a tad bit more readable than Bella's, and Sam was thankful. He really didn't have time to decipher the runes. "They hear you coming, you're dead meat unless Bella pleads."_

_Dean peered at the paper Charlie just butchered. "Why do they want Bella so much anyway?" he asked in frustration._

_"Once you start meaning something to them, they never let you go," Charlie mumbled angrily._

_"That's sick," Sam scoffed. "Like what, a fucking snack?"_

_"Not in that way!" Charlie shook his head furiously. "Like a vampire mate," he muttered unwillingly._

_"What?!" both brothers yelped. _

_"I swear to god, Charlie, if one of them marks her I'm slaughtering the whole coven," Dean snarled. "Bella can't be a vampire's mate!" Sam protested loudly, hands up in the air._

_"Well the Cullens think she is," Charlie said indifferently. "They have one unmated coven member. Little Edward," Charlie spat. "Edward's taken with her, but he's also a dick." _

_"What will they do to her?" Sam asked darkly. _

_"Turn her," Charlie grimaced, like the two words were shit in his mouth._

Dean slowed the Impala to a stop and jerked his head in the general direction of the forest. Sam nodded and pointed to a scrawl on the map.

_Hike a bit. You'll see the goddamned monstrosity in a bit. Clue: it's fucking white. _

Dean's mouth quirked up. Eloquent, he mouthed at Sam. Sam just shrugged and emerged out of the Impala noiselessly, barely slamming the door. Dean did the same, and they trudged along the forest in silence.

The dreaded moment could not have come any faster as suddenly a huge, architectural horror of white and _fucking glass_ loomed up at them.

Dean strolled casually to the front door, about to kick it open (and take great satisfaction in dirtying it up) when the door opened and Dean's foot hung in the air, poised in midstrike.

It was the chalky pale, spiky haired, tiny vampire who called Bella to run away from the bad men.

"House visit," Dean leered, and Sam stood supportively behind his brother, staring impassively at the vampire.

Said vampire was glaring ferociously at them.

"NOOO!" Bella's sudden scream ricocheted all around, and the vampire flashed out of their sight, as the boys ran inside, coven be damned.

They could not have been more prepared for the sight of Bella writhing on the couch, drenched in sweat and the Cullens surrounding her, trying to wake her up frantically, to no avail.

Dean pushed his way through the throng of vampires, but Sam had a better idea and beelined for the couch via the other way around.

"Bells?" Sam asked, concerned, as he laid a flat palm on her sweaty forehead. With a growl, Edward ripped his hand away from Bella's forehead so fast Sam hissed.

"Don't you touch my brother, leech!" Dean snarled, kneeling in front of the couch, and slapping Bella awake.

"Goddammit Bells!" he cried in exasperation. "Stop being a fucking baby."

Her eyes snapped open. "Shut up, Dean Winchester," she complained.

"What the hell was that?" Sam hollered. She rolled her eyes. "I saw our nerdy little friend," she muttered.

"Then?" Dean and Sam asked cautiously.

She barked a laugh. "Busy figuring out how the fuck to use a fucking cellphone."

"WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN?" Emmett boomed. The three humans in attendance winced. "None of your business," Bella said shortly, hopping off the couch.


	5. Chapter 5

"That's not your decision, Bella," Rosalie said frostily. "We're not letting you out of our sights until you tell us where you've been roving around for more than half a year."

Bella rolled her eyes, and glanced at Dean and Sam. "We'd like to see you try to stop us," Sam smirked.

"Don't force our hand," Jasper rumbled dangerously.

Bella chuckled. "There's nothing you can do. Me and the boys are going out freely and still complete. I have to go. I promised Charlie dinner." She made a move towards the door, but Esme zoomed in front of her. "I'm sorry honey, but I'm not letting you leave," she said apologetically.

"Don't force me to do something I might regret or so help me God!" Bella warned, glaring viciously at Esme. Dean openly glared at Edward. "What you looking at, emo?" he sneered. Sam was locked in mortal eye-combat with Rosalie, out bitchfacing each other.

Carlisle stepped forward. "Bella, please be reasonable..." he tried to plead. Bella scoffed. "Like you were reasonable when you did all that 'clean break' shit. Now let us go, or we'll fight our way out," she whispered dangerously, hand flitting to the back of her jeans, where she hid a knife. Just in case.

"Bellaaa," Alice whined. "Stop being overdramatic. You know we'd never hurt you," she smiled dazzlingly. Bella's eyes alighted with hazel fire and her nose flared angrily.

"Wrong thing to say," Sam muttered, breaking eye contact with Rosalie, and rolling his eyes. "Never?" Bella murmured dangerously. "You sure about that?"

"Bella, calm down," Dean cautioned, sidestepping Edward to place his large hand on Bella's tiny shoulder. Edward growled possessively, and Dean flipped him off. "Stay outta this, Romeo," he warned. "Bella ain't happy you kidnapped her in the middle of visiting Charlie."

"I'm not," Bella agreed. "Now you get out of my way, and out of my life, and stay out." She grabbed Dean's hand and Sam's hand, and half-dragged them out, before large, cold hands stilled her progress. "No Bells," Emmett rumbled, annoyed. "We're not letting you leave 'til we get answers."

She huffed in irritation. "Castiel's not happy," she murmured darkly. "The phone's pissed him off already. Add the fact we're amidst cold ones," she spread her arms wide. "He'll smite the whole town," she ended mildly.

"Hopefully not," Dean snorted. "Charlie'll bitch."

"He won't have anything to do," Sam agreed. "He'll hate that," Bella remarked, her mouth quirking to the side.

"Castiel?" Carlisle butted in. "The angel of Thursdays?"

Dean hissed. "Don't say his name, vamp. You'll blip on his radar. Trust me," he smirked. "You do not wanna blip on his radar. He'll end you faster than you can spell God," Dean gloated, enjoying the disbelief and skepticism blatant on the vampires' faces.

"Don't underestimate us," Sam commented. "I mean, we look pretty tame, but we kick ass."

"'Tame?''' Rosalie scoffed. "You look like redneck hoodlums!'

Bella snorted a laugh. "Where have I heard that before?" Dean and Sam said in sync, "Don't even start, Bells."

"I don't like what's going on," Jasper grumbled. Bella shot him a haughty glance and a cocked eyebrow. "Did I ask your opinion?"

Alice hissed. "Don't be a bitch, Bella!" Edward and Esme turned their faces to Alice reproachfully. "Don't call her that!" Edward growled. "I'll call her whatever I want!" she snarled.

"Are you done?" she mocked, then frowned thoughtfully. "Boys, lasagna or some carbonara?"

Dean pondered for a moment. "Lasagna," he decided. "Yep," Sam chimed. Bella nodded, satisfied. "How long will we stay?" she asked.

"As long as you want," Dean assured her and she beamed at him. "I'll cook pie for you," she promised him. "For me?" Sam prompted.

"Anything," Bella smiled. "Except those triple fudge caramel coated almond loaded brownies," she amended. "You'll get diabetes!" she chastised.

"Stop talking domestic and start telling a story," Rosalie snarled. "Or else you won't be cooking anytime soon, Bella. Nor will your friends," she sneered.

"I don't owe you guys anything," she said calmly, but her tiny hands tightened around her boys' large hands almost painfully.

"An explanation would be nice," Carlisle remarked coolly. Bella hissed. "Why? Did you give me an explanation? Drop me a line or two? Reminded me I wasn't fucking worthless?"

She dropped her boys' hands. "You made me this embittered monster," she snarled. "And I could care less about you and your whiny little shits, Carlisle. You can burn in fucking righteous fire!"

"Bella, we're sorry, Edward was being silly-" Esme tried to comfort her. "No! It's too late!" Bella whirled around to face her. "You can't change your faults!"

Edward stepped forward, a remorseful look on his face. "Please, love," he murmured humbly, turning his blazing gold eyes at her. "Let me beg on my hands and knees for you," he begged.

"Nothing can save you now," she gritted out coldly. "It's too late for forgiveness."

"No," Dean breathed, backing away in panic. "Yes," Bella nodded. "Bella!" Sam shouted. "Don't! Are you crazy?" Dean protested, "Let's just gank 'em!"

Bella shook her head. "This is easier," she remarked serenely, tipping her face to the ceiling with an almighty, piercing scream of "CASTIEL!"


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N: Okay I try to avoid the A/N's, but Jesus fuck is this the most pretentious and stupid chapter I've ever written. I'm alternating between laughing at Edward to hating myself for writing shit like this. So put up with it, okay?)

Edward angrily noted the way Bella held on tightly to the two strangers' hands, pissed off by the fact that he could not read their minds anymore than he could Bella's. _What linked them together, _a part of him mused as another went insane with anger. No one had the right to be that close to her but him and his family.

Granted, he had left her in a forest almost a year ago, but it was for her own good. A dazzling smile and some persuasive prattle would win her over. _If she would listen, _he realized and he frowned. She would listen. She loved him.

_Anger, _Jasper sighed. _So much anger. It scares me, Edward. I have not known such magnitude of anger before, not even with my time with Maria. _

_I can't see her! _Alice hissed. _The past, the future, nothing! Like she never existed. _

The very phrase struck through him almost painfully; almost because nothing hurt his kind anymore, not even the most terrifying emotions that brought even the greatest man to his knees. It was the very phrase he should be living now, he thought guiltily. Something he did to keep his precious little human safe; she didn't belong in his vicious, terrifying world.

His clumsy, blushing little human, he thought fondly. So beautiful, so shy, so reserved. So unlike this coarse Bella he had come to face now, he frowned slightly.

Glaring at Esme! His cultured love, glaring at Esme! He nearly shuddered, stopping his perfectly immobile shoulders in time. The new shenanigan of hers reinforced his belief that these two rednecks- he curled his lips in mild distaste- had somehow wormed their backward and ignorant beliefs into his innocent angel and rotted her from the inside out.

He vaguely wondered if he could still fix her. _Always, _he assured himself. Bella would always come back to him. It was only a matter of time.

The shorter redneck glared at him evilly, pure malice and negative intention radiating from him. "What you looking at, emo?" he sneered, and Edward bristled. He hardly qualified as emo. He was a deepminded immortal with a certain preference for quiet towns and reserved brunettes.

_I hope it will all work out,_ Carlisle repeated, a mantra in his head. Edward grimaced at his repetitiveness. He was fond of his creator, but his peaceful mindset got on his nerves at times. If perfect beings as himself had nerves anyway.

Edward frowned at Bella's reply; her disjointed words floating around his sharp and capable mind. _You... reasonable... clean break shit... fight our way out... _His eyes caught the tiny flutter of her delicate hands as they flittered to the back of her jeans cautiously. He scrutinized her ample behind, hoping to God that no one would notice him. It was still sparingly endowed, he noted patronizingly. The buxom beauties of Denali had better physiques than his slight darling.

A slight bump and curve protruded from her waistband. Edward narrowed his eyes, but his attention snapped away as Alice tried to win Bella over again, and Edward bit back a smirk. knowing only he could convince her to stop this foolishness. He was only indulging her this last time.

Edward was not concerned as the freakishly tall human muttered, "Wrong thing to say." Bella had her moments, but she was never over the top. _Classy, _he thought happily. _A perfect addition to my perfect coven. _

Her reaction frustrated him slightly. _Stop being so stubborn, love, _he wanted to sigh. _This is all for your own good. _

But what angered him most was when the short, cocky redneck deliberately passed him, making sure to slightly bump his shoulder forcefully, enough to budge him the tiniest bit. His eyes widened. It was only then he realized he could not read his mind. nor his companion's. _They were like Bella. _

He clamped a large hand on Bella's shoulder, and Edward growled. He had no right to touch Edward's serene doll in that violating way! He narrowed his eyes as the short one had the audacity to threaten him!

The voices of his family rose to a dull clamor. _Arrogance, _Rosalie hissed. _That's fucking stupid, _Emmett snarled.

Bella's agreement just set everyone on edge. _What have they done to her? _Esme whispered sadly.

Edward frowned in consternation; not only could he not hear the newcomers' thoughts, but they spoke in lulling riddles, with century-old names and modern phrases sounding wrong fitted together.

_Castiel. The angel of Thursdays. _

Somehow, it had him shivering. He straightened up in surprise. He of all people did not shiver.

The words and faces blurred together; Bella's hysteria spiking up, according to Jasper , while the two men radiated panic and agitation. The curses blipped vaguely in his subconscious as he tried to piece together information, startlingly familiar and horrifying.

_Burn in righteous fire!_

_Angels. _

Edward controlled himself; now was not the time to get carried away. He saddened his face, dropping his head in contrition. The positive picture of regret. "Please love," he began in his most irresistible voice, the very voice the Bella he knew fell for, "Let me beg on my hands and knees for you," he begged easily.

Her coldness spurted faint fear within him. She truly different, he panicked mentally as she tipped her face to the heavens and let loose a bloodcurdling scream of "CASTIEL!"

The world exploded into blinding whiteness.


End file.
